Cindy and Laura: Participants in the WE DO Campaign who got legally married in California in 2008 and recorded their marriage license at the Buncombe County Register of Deeds Office on Thursday, October 6, 2011.
I am a local musician, radio host, and farmer in the mountains of beautiful western North Carolina. Cindy and I have been in a committed relationship for almost 10 years. We got married in California in 2008, 3 months before our daughter was born. We were considered of the ‘lucky ones,’ those whose marriages will still stand in California after the legal challenges were mounted.
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All fine and good, if you happen to reside in California, I suppose. Problem is, this is our home. We were both born and raised in the South, and don’t want to leave. Our families are here, our friends are here—this is where we want to be.
Cindy and I first met right here in Asheville, at a Christmas party—not too different from other couples. We have spent the past ten years building a life together, including making a home, starting a family, and building a farm business so that we could raise our daughter with a healthy respect for the natural world. We support one another in pursuing our dreams and passions, and we work out the day-to-day realities from arranging child care to paying bills. I’ve watched Cindy grow from a novice to a respected beekeeper in the farming community. She has supported me through the ups and downs that come with making one’s living as a musician.
When Cindy and I talked about having children together, I felt an undeniable amount of fear around this, largely due to the bigotry that exists in the world. I never wanted our daughter to feel the rejection or discrimination that we have felt. I never want her to be ashamed of who she is—of who we are. I want her to believe beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she can do or be anything she sets her mind to. That she is loved and valued beyond the bounds of what I ever considered possible.
Most people don’t realize that with the stroke of a pen, my family could easily be taken away from me. My largest complaint with the proposed legislation going before NC voters in May is that it appeals to people’s fear, rather than to their sense of optimism. And it stands to do some real damage to individuals, families and communities—no matter the outcome.
My biggest reason for wanting to have my marriage recognized is to have protections for my family under the law. We are not the enemy, and our sweet, beautiful 2- year old most certainly is not. I would very much like to get back to the business of being a contributing member of society.
– Laura
