ASHEVILLE — The Rev. Kathryn Cartledge and Elizabeth Eve fell in love 30 years ago after meeting while volunteering at a soup kitchen in Atlanta.
Their shared life continues to be rooted in community involvement and activism: On Monday, the couple’s first steps toward marriage were taken in deliberate defiance of state laws that prohibit issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples.
Cartledge, 65, and Eve, 66, were one of three same-sex couples who requested marriage licenses, knowing they would be rejected, at the Buncombe County Register of Deeds office in Asheville.
The demonstration was intended to draw attention to what participants say are unjust and intolerant laws, as well as challenge a proposed amendment to the North Carolina constitution that would ban marriage, civil unions and domestic partnerships for same-sex couples. North Carolina voters will get to decide the amendment’s fate in May.
The unsuccessful applicants, surrounded by about a dozen supporters, kicked off The Campaign of Southern Equality’s We Do Campaign, which will continue through Oct. 14.
Supporters included state Rep. Susan Fisher, D-Buncombe, state Rep. Patsy Keever, D-Buncombe, Asheville City Council member Gordon Smith and the Rev. Joe Hoffman of First Congregational United Church of Christ.
Organizer Jasmine Beach-Ferrara said more than a dozen couples will request licenses during the period, culminating with an interfaith blessing of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered families at the Roger McGuire Green and public demonstration Oct. 14.
The group has plans for similar efforts elsewhere in North Carolina and around the South next year.
Tami Fitzgerald of the North Carolina Values Coalition said she thinks the campaign will backfire. Fitzgerald said she believes it will instead help secure amendment’s passage.
Even though Cartledge understood that her application with Eve would be rejected, she didn’t anticipate her intense emotional reaction to denial.
“But when I heard the rejection out loud, it took away my breath,” said Cartledge, an ordained United Church of Christ minister. “It took my heart.”
By denying the basic right of marriage, “they are basically saying you are less than,” added Eve, who is massage therapist and co-owner of Ortho Dog, makers of canine orthopedic braces.
The three rejections came without conflict, only tears and embraces.
After the demonstration the three couples, who also included Amanda Hilty and Loraine Allen, and Autumn Trama and Amanda McKenzie, agreed that Register of Deeds Drew Reisinger’s kindness and respect softened the rejection.
Cartledge and Eve have never applied for licenses before nor are they interested in pursuing marriage licenses in the six states that recognize same-sex couples. It’s silly and arbitrary that invisible lines between states determine marital status, Cartledge said.
Equality for the LGBT community is a civil rights issue that damages everyone, no matter whom they love and where they live, she added.
Since falling in love 30 years ago, much has changed for the couple. They’ve raised two daughters, and now four grandchildren, and have made a home on a small farm Fairview for the last two decades.
They’ve also seen “forward motion and acceptance” of their relationship. “There are gay characters on TV, in movies and books. … We can walk down the street and hold hands,” Cartledge said. “But at the end of the day, we remain second-class citizens, and that’s wrong.”
