If I were to have a chat with my younger self — be it the timid kid in Miami, the awkward teenager trying to navigate “fitting in,” or the college freshman desperately holding on to the “bisexual” label because the term and the association with “gay” didn’t best define him — I’d likely start with a BIG laugh. A loud, sloppy laugh, the kind that makes your shoulders percolate and tears flow from your eyes. Because honestly, Jermaine Nakia Lee, you won’t believe the adventures and triumphs that lie ahead.
First off, yes—you were right. You’ve always known you were queer just as surely as you knew you were creative. And no, neither of those things are accidents, curses, or conditions to “fix.” They are the keys, the crown jewels, the DNA-coded superpowers that would shape not just your life, but the lives of others. You probably don’t see it now, but that inability to “fit in” is not a defect. It’s your secret weapon. While your peers were bathing themselves in sameness, you were cultivating a unique light that would radiate your path to greatness.
And I implore you, do not waste your time on the hamster wheel of comparison. That’s the trap! Don’t measure yourself against anyone else’s race, riches, romance, or style. Your only competition is the person staring back at you in the mirror. You’ll find that folk who look the most “put together” are often barely holding it together. And you will come to learn that the messiest, most confusing parts of you actually represent your divine self. Keep moving to the beat of your own song.
And speaking of songs—you will compose a tune called UNUSUAL LOVE. I bet the title alone makes you smirk. It’s an oxymoron, a wink at the way the world insists on labeling our love as something strange, even abominable. But to you—and to so many like you—loving another man has always been as natural as breathing. Our love is only “unusual” to those who refuse to embrace the differences of others and the complexities of affection. For us, same-sex attraction is commonplace and any other way of being would indeed be unnatural. UNUSUAL LOVE and its message, will become a kind of anthem in your life:
A reminder that society’s labels don’t define your truth.
I come before you, at 50 years young-looking enviably better than I ever imagined middle-aged us. I am an accomplished songwriter, playwright, stage director and producer. Though the recognitions don’t fuel our passion, we have collected several honors for our creative and community contributions. What matters is, performing arts gave you a language for all the things your younger self couldn’t explain: the loneliness of standing out, the truth of love’s diversity, the joy of fathering worlds where you belong.
Oh yeah, you’ll want to have a seat for this tidbit, baby boy—you’ve got two boys, 17 and 11! You’ll be the Dad who tells them the truth, who shows them that Black men can be strong without being stones and love unconditionally. Your life will demonstrate that queerness isn’t something you hide from your children; it’s something you model as freedom.
I want to remind you, never forget your rich Bahamian heritage.
Miami raised, Charlotte made. Rooted in Africa. Queer by birthright. Same-gender loving by declaration. You will come to understand that our history is not just background—it is our foreground. You will wear it with pride in every lyric, every curtain call, every board meeting where you’ll insist that equity isn’t a bullet point but a blueprint for success.
You will be guided by Dr. Martin Luther King‘s admonishment that “no one is free until everyone is free.” That conviction will lead to you co-founding two Black LGBTQ+ institutions, Charlotte Black Pride and South Carolina Black Pride—not because you wanted another line on your résumé, but because you saw too many of us still wondering if we belonged. You’ll co-found State of Emergency, an empowerment program for & by Black Trans Women in Charlotte to address the epidemic of physical assaults and murder plaguing that community. From State of Emergency will come [Trans]parent, the only professionally published magazine in America for & by Black Trans Women. As co-editor, you will proudly help launch its fourth groundbreaking (print & digital) issue this November 2025.
The boy who never fit in somehow becomes the guy who builds spaces where everyone is welcome; spaces where the outcasts are not just invited but celebrated; where Blackness, queerness and creativity dance in synchrony; where UNUSUAL LOVE is affirmed. Today, in my fifties, I am self-assured and proud of all of my identities—proud to be of African descent, proud to be same-gender loving, proud to be a father, an artist, an advocate. Proud to stand in solidarity with a community that refuses erasure. We have learned the great secret: when you stop aiming to fit in, you realize you were always born to stand out.
So, what does all of this mean, younger Jermaine? You, beloved, are more than enough. Relax, baby. You will create indelible works of art. You will be a blessing to your community. You will live triumphantly. You will make those two adorable sons of yours extremely proud to call you Dad.
From the musical event, FOR THE LOVE OF HARLEM
Book, songs and lyrics by Jermaine Nakia Lee
